Although sugar relationships are definitely in a class by themselves on several levels, sugaring still thrives on many of the same core principles. Some of those – like trust, respect, and mutual attraction – are widely acknowledged. On the other hand, intellectual compatibility is incredibly underrated as something that can really affect a relationship for better or worse.

It’s especially essential in a sugar relationship, as such relationships are supposed to achieve an above-average level of compatibility. Here’s a closer look at why it’s so important, as well as what it really means to be intellectually compatible with someone else.

How Compatible Are You and Your Sugar Partner?

People don’t truly understand the importance of intellectual compatibility because they don’t really know what it is. It isn’t about being completely neck and neck with your partner regarding your formal schooling or your life experience. It’s not about having identical IQ scores or being into the “right” pastimes, either.

Intellectually compatible couples are couples who simply connect with one another mentally and psychologically. Does your partner genuinely intrigue you and leave you wanting to know more about them and vice versa? Do your conversations crackle with electricity and eager mutual interest? Do your intellectual similarities complement one another? How about your differences? The more of those questions you can answer “yes” to, the more intellectually compatible you and your partner are.

Why Sugar Relationships Require Intellectual Compatibility

Although there are exceptions to every rule, many sugar relationships involve significant age gaps, differing backgrounds, and other similar factors. Couples of a similar age may connect over any number of things, including pop culture trends, music, and movies. They’re more likely to have grown up enjoying the same pastimes and with similar cultural views, as well.

An older sugardaddy and a years-younger sugarbaby may not have those things in common. However, intellectual compatibility can help any big differences in age, background, or upbringing melt away. In fact, it’s often the X-factor in age gap relationships between people who seem perfectly in sync, in love, and made for one another.

Get Straight to the Nitty Gritty

People gravitate toward sugar dating because of its reputation for being deeper, better, more substantial versions of the traditional connections they might be used to. Sugar daters are tired of all the assumptions and unspoken expectations. They’re at a point in their dating lives where they’re ready to cut the crap, the guessing games, and the small talk.

For that reason, a would-be sugar dater should plan on a detour past the typical social niceties no one’s really interested in anyway. Skip the small talk on your date, and discuss real things instead. Not only are genuine, honest, deep conversations refreshing after years of shallowness, but they’re the best way to tell whether you’re intellectually compatible with someone.

Explore Your Common Ground

Although you don’t necessarily have to like all the same things as your would-be partner in a sugar relationship, you still want to bond over the stuff you do have in common. Commonalities can take absolutely any form. For example, are you both passionate nature lovers or humanitarians? Did you both grow up in the same city or region? Do you share a love of fine dining, early mornings, foreign languages, or walks on the beach?

Use those points of intersection to spark interesting, effervescent conversation and deeper levels of connection. Great conversation that really pops is one of the hallmarks that set sugar relationships apart, so if you’re new to connections with real substance, you might be surprised by the difference – pleasantly so, of course.

See Where Your Goals Intersect

Discovering whether you’re intellectually compatible with a potential sugar daddy, sugar baby or sugar momma and establishing a connection you can both see yourselves growing with into the future is one thing. Determining whether that connection truly has a future is another. Granted, that’s a scary step to think about, especially if you like someone, but look at it this way. If your goals and plans for your ultimate futures don’t complement one another, it’s better to find out early before you waste too much time.

What are your potential sugar partner’s biggest, most deeply held goals? What are yours? Are there specific ways they work together unusually well? Is this a relationship where you’ll both be able to help one another build the incredible lives you both deserve? Great relationships start with great connections, but compatible goals keep them going strong over the long term.

When you’re new to sugaring, it’s easy to get swept away by the incredible ways sugar relationships elevate the very concepts of dating and relationships. But deep compatibility that transcends the physical is still the most important thing to keep in mind. Are you ready to embrace the possibilities?