Every new sugar baby deal with a mixture of powerful feelings when she’s brand new to sugar dating, and rightly so. Of course, she’s exhilarated by the newness of it all, not to mention the excitement that comes with knowing she’s well on her way to establishing the better life she knows she deserves. But it’s only natural to be a little anxious, as well.

Sugar dating can be every bit as exciting as it looks from the outside looking in, and there’s a learning curve involved. But there’s nothing quite like that feeling that you’ve made it as a sugar dater who knows all the ins and outs. Here are some signs that you’re finally there.

You’ve stopped comparing yourself to other sugar babies.

If you were plagued by persistent worries that you don’t measure up to other sugar babies at first, then you’re far from alone. Most new sugar babies wonder whether they’re as pretty as the other women on their favorite sugaring sites or as charismatic as they need to be to hold a prime sugar daddy’s attention. Then they get used to sugar dating and realize it’s not about that.

If you’ve been sugaring long enough, you’ve fully realized every sugar baby brings her own unique brand of appeal to the table, so there’s no point in comparing yourself to others. Your focus is now on getting the most out of sugaring for yourself instead of worrying about outpacing others on the same journey.

You maintain high standards without apology.

Although sugar dating often means saying goodbye to the drama and frustration you remember from your former dating life, a sugar baby still needs to know how to stick to her guns. To be successful, she needs to not only know how she deserves to be treated but be confident enough to insist on it from the men she dates.

A sugar baby who’s made it doesn’t put up with faux sugar daddies who don’t respect her time or who fail to keep their promises. She also knows how to spot a total salt daddy a mile away and won’t waste her time. She maintains high standards, both for herself and anyone who wants a spot in her life.

The occasional negative experience doesn’t bother you anymore.

Dating failures happen in the sugar bowl just as surely as they do in the world of traditional dating. Someone promising can turn out not to be what he seemed. People you talk to or even meet up with might deal with a lack of interest by ghosting. And it can take a new sugar baby some time to learn how to take all that in stride.

You know you’ve made it as a sugar baby when the occasional negative experience no longer gets you down or leaves you discouraged. Instead, you learn something from it. You get better at telling time wasters from total gems and see the difference reflected in the quality of your relationships.

You’re comfortable saying no.

One of the most common faux pas a brand-new sugar baby might make is assuming she’s not allowed to say no. Yes, good sugar babies know how to be accommodating, grateful, and appreciative instead of argumentative and dramatic. But that doesn’t mean saying yes to everything and everyone.

A sugar baby who’s finally made it sees the writing on the wall when a line is about to be crossed or someone’s getting ready to try to push past a boundary. And she understands that no is always on the table as an answer. She not only knows her limits, boundaries, and comfort levels but feels comfortable defending them.

You’re still in touch with your humility.

Every sugar dater knows a sugar baby with a couple of successful arrangements under her belt who thinks she’s God’s gift to the sugar bowl because of it. Such sugar babies let success get to their heads. It starts to affect how they treat other people, and it’s only a matter of time before it comes back to them in ways they won’t like.

A sugar baby who’s truly made it would never dream of having such an attitude. Yes, she has excellent self-esteem. She knows she’s worth it and that she deserves to be treated like the absolute queen she is. But she also knows that’s not the same thing as being the center of the universe. She remains a humble beauty who not only treats her sugar daddies like gold but empathizes with other sugar babies and wants to see them succeed.

Being a success in the sugar bowl isn’t about being prettier than every other sugar baby out there or having the most affluent sugar daddy. Instead, it’s about owning the things that make you unique and leveraging them to finally get what you deserve out of your dating life.